Death: A Cyclical Ending & A New Beginning​

Before I dove into the depths of numerology and other mystical teachings I feared the signs of death. Also since now understanding, we are cyclical beings, forever experiencing a rebirth and death process, I celebrate the death of my cycles.

Today I am five years clean and sober and have experienced the signs of a cycle ending for the last few days. It started with a spray-painted grim reaper on a train I spotted and caught a film of two days ago. All though eery in nature, he was only passing by and was the first representation of ending a chapter.

Yesterday, while under the presence of the full moon I enjoyed a tarot reading for my sign, in which the death card presented itself. In tarot, the Death card simply symbolizes an ending of a cycle and or suffering of some sort, implying a new beginning is just around the corner.

Later that night, just before I went to bed, I kicked over my laundry bucket. Thinking to myself what does that mean again? I looked it up and It said: “to die.” At first, being shocked but then realizing my gut felt good and my heart felt full. Then it all clicked! These were all signs a cycle was ending. I did a little jump for joy and celebrated the ending of suffering.

Getting to five years clean I have endured many forms of suffering and have risen above all challenges presented to me. I am a scary strong, fierce and strong-willed I have learnt, a true force to be reckoned with.

After my little dance in celebration, I went to bed. Waking up to my 5 years today felt amazing and all though I wasn’t seeing fives. I was being shown 999.

9 is the last single digit, symbolizing the ending. 999 represents a cycle of completion. I giggled as I saw 999 on my radio and a license plate and thanked the Universe for the confirmation. I can feel it in every cell of my body, a new beginning is just around the corner and I can’t wait to see it unfold.

For My Sweetie.

Clean and Sober, with a Pure Soul.
But lustful and a Beggar for Sweet Honey.

Sweetie, please comfort my pain.
That deep cavity in my chest called loneliness, because sometimes it aches.

I would rather hold a liquorish rope in hand, then the hand of a fool.
Sugar cane to replace the absence of Romantic Sweetness in my life.

Tooth pang, over a rotten Conscience and a put-on Romeo.
When all is quiet and all is still, I know I can’t go on like this.

But I’d rather be patience and stay hopeful, then jump for a Bore.
So a hit of chocolate for now, because I know my Worth and Value mean more.

I am a Peach.

Being a Peach makes me feel fuzzy on the outside because I’m forevermore surrounded with unconditional Love from my “Surrogate Family.”

Being a Peach fills my life with the sweet nectar of Sisterhood and bonds with Wild Women alike.

Being a peach means I have a solid foundation layered with Honesty, Open Mindedness and Willingness at my Innermost core.

Being a Peach means you ooze Kindness and Nourishment for those around you.

I’ve realized I am the Love I needed all along, now life is juicy.

I am a Peach.

Dedicated to a very special place.

Graphic Design by Lauren B Careful

“I am a Peach.” short film

Love, A Story of Transcendence

As I sat on my living room floor, crossed-legged, ready to enter a meditation practice. I did not expect the entrancing experience I was about to encounter. It was the first of January this year, I had been practicing sitting in silence for just over four years. I started the routine shortly after resigning substances with intoxicating potencies. My Meditation journey began with repeating single words in my head, starting with “Love.” Lying in my bed, at the Treatment Centre, I would repeat “Love, Love, Love…” My mind would naturally escape to some absurd story. The beginners battle with the Ego mind. That day however, I started to really focus in on my breath. Focusing became more natural at this point. As I got lost in the inhalation and exhalation of my breaths, my mind went blank. I Transcended above my physical body, still connected with a stream of consciousness. Being separate, but still very much apart. My complete Awareness coming from my Higher Self. I was solely looking at Me from the perspective of my Higher Self. An absolute speculation that I was Whole. A Divine creation. The Ego mind then kicked in. Thinking about thinking. Thinking about what was happening. I sunk back into my physical shell. Exalted by the experience I had just witnessed. I felt like I had finally done “It.”I’ve tried many times to replicate that same occurance and have not succeeded. To some, this might sound unsettling and to others Hopeful. For myself, I crave more. Meditation is a practice and a journey. Each sitting and the evolution of those singular sittings, all strung together. There is never a destination. Theres only more deepening , more connecting. Softening of our Hearts. Its the journey of remembering what we truly are, Love.


  1. a person who seeks by contemplation and self-surrender to obtain unity with or absorption into the Deity or the absolute, or who believes in the spiritual apprehension of truths that are beyond the intellect.
  1. another term for mystical.

The adventure begins, I have been yearning to start a blog for a few years now and it has finally manifested itself. Outwardly I am a full-time Mother and part-time student, Inwardly I am a Mystic and a Artist. I have always had a deep longing to illustrate my experiences and wisdom with the world, but have always been quite introverted.

Since I was a kid I’ve been overly imaginative and preoccupied with daydreaming. Ive had a rebel soul since I can remember, and it really emerged as a teenager. I found mood and mind altering potions that took me out of reality and into my fantasies at a younger age. Only to find sorrow and hardship at the bottom of the rabbit hole. I have since then treated my emptiness with modern mysticism and other types of fitting treatment.

After enduring my own “dark night of the soul” and coming out the other side, I want to support others on their alike life adversities. That is my inspiration to start the blog, that, and my burning desire to create. My intention is to stimulate you spiritually and encourage you to get to know yourself on a deeper level. Comments and feedback are appreciated and encouraged. My goal is to connect with others 1:1 at some point down the road. But for now, every journey needs a first step. So welcome and thanks for joining me.